By Chris Carr
Copyright © 05/01/2005
G,
You won’t believe it, but he came by the other day. God, I was a little surprised at how he looked. His braids were frayed and his clothes dingy but the worse was that gap in his teeth. A whole tooth really was missing, the top canine on the right. And his right incisor was chipped, half of it missing!!
He says that it happened the last time he left here and I feel bad. He says his friend dropped him off at the metrorail station, up on Avalon and he was walking towards the platform when he heard someone running behind him. He looks back and this boy is sort of trotting towards him then he sees another one flanking him, coming in a wide circle to face him.
It shook me up, just hearing it so I asked what did he do? He says he knew it was trouble so he just dropped his head. The guy who’d flanked him starts asking him, "who you with?" and he says he told them, "I don’t bang" but that didn’t matter. They wanted to fuck somebody up and they just lit into him.
When I asked how they knocked a tooth out, he says they had brass knuckles. G, I’m not sure I believe the whole story. LaVelle’s not always honest, and his cousin Mina (who Patrick tells me isn’t really his cousin) says he knew one of the boys.
My next door neighbor, who’s spent time in the penitentiary says, rarely does trouble like that not have a connection to someone you know. That, a lot of times, its someone who’s pissed at you, bringing the drama to your door. I tend to agree as LaVelle’s told me he used to sell drugs (weed).
The thing is, I didn’t feel anything for him, that last time. All of those longings and desires I’d had for him, the way I worried and stressed when I couldn’t get in touch with him? They don’t mean anything now. Something has died.
I think its finally sinking in, LaVelle will never be nothing but good sex. I’ve tried so hard to make it something more than that and, at times, it seemed like I was making headway. Take for instance, that time he came over, before he got jumped.
Once again, I’d had a falling out with him and we weren’t speaking. Then he calls, a week or so after that and he’s all wanting to come over. I still have all of these feelings up around him but couldn’t resist his charm, so I told him ok.
That evening he shows up and he looks so cute. He’s got on his black Akademiks jacket, some of those pre-washed blue jeans with the worn look fade on the thighs and those cute white and blue Nikes. There’re so cute because his feet are small and they look like little boy’s shoes.
His hair’s freshly braided and he’s almost effusive, he’s so happy to be here. "LaVelle," I probe, "you mean to tell me it’s a holiday weekend (Martin Luther King’s birthday) and you can’t find anything better to do than spend it with me?"
All he does is nod, which is more than I expect so I probe further. "You don’t have anyone you could’ve been with? A party, some of your peeps?"
"Yeah," He croaks but says nothing more.
"Why me?" He hunches his shoulders and then he pulls the hood of his coat over his head, hiding his eyes.
"’Cause," He gushes, pulling the hood down to his nose.
I pull the hood back up and we look at each other. Then he blurts, "I told you, I feel safe here."
"Why?" I probe, trying to make sense of this.
"’Cause," He whines again, "You’re my God!"
He pulls the hood over his eyes again and I know he’s more vulnerable than ever. I pull him to me and he hugs me, his eyes hooded, then we kiss. Mind you, it just on the lips because LaVelle can’t bring himself to kissing me like he ‘kisses his lady’ but it’s very heartfelt.
That night, he was on fire, willingly removing his clothes, even his socks as we ducked under the covers. He says that all of the kissing and caressing I do doesn’t matter but I think it does, otherwise, why doesn’t he just get out his clothes and offer me his dick?
I like kissing him on the neck, his cheeks, his mouth. I
used to spend a lot of time sucking his nipples but he insists that does nothing
for him so I don’t linger. His dick is so disproportionate to his slight body.
LaVelle says he only weighs "a buck, twenty" and he’s only about 5’4".
But his dick is 8 ½ inches. I know because I’ve measured it. I know, hot,
huh?
He’s uncut, something I don’t see often and the skin is something I’ve come to enjoy. I like pulling it down and then slipping it over the head. It snaps tight about his dick and doesn’t dangle over the end like some of the foreskins I’ve seen and I actually like that.
He gets hard at the drop of a hat and I like watching the way it bobbles and jerks with his urgent desire. I used to spend a lot of time sucking it but I’ve also learned that he likes it when I play with his ass so that’s the main attraction.
That night was special because when I turned him over on his stomach, I got the smart idea to have him get up on his knees. LaVelle is so noncommittal, this used to be difficult. He wants to act as if he’s not participating, so getting up on his knees would’ve been too much before. But that’s what was so different about that night. He willingly got up on his knees, raising his ass high in the air for me to lick. There’s no question he likes this.
He still laid his head on the pillow, trying to maintain some air of passivity but his dick was so hard, I thought he’d cum any minute. I have this screensaver that lets me use any picture set on my hard drive and that night, I had this cute ass Latin boy on there with this big dick. In fact, LaVelle was jealous because he swore that boy’s dick was bigger than his.
His
head’s on the pillow and I know he’s looking at the monitor but that’s ok,
his ass belongs to me. I started licking that luscious ass of his and he raised
his ass higher....
I can’t get enough of his sweet, delectable cakes. He’s got the cutest little ass that’s almost hairless, save this fine feathering of hair about the cheeks and a light ring around his willing hole. He’s so slight, you’d think he’d have a flat ass but he’s got a cute, saucy ass that’s not fat but just round enough to make me crazy.
I lay my tongue down his groove, working it against his taut hole, making his dick bounce with glee. I could lick that button all night it feels so good. He’s raising his ass higher, his head’s all but buried in the pillow now, the screensaver forgotten. It’s the sweetest reward, I’ve pulled him away from the screen, his ass aglow.
Over and over I lap at his hole, then, when it’s good and wet, I slip a finger in. He offers no protest, his ass so high, I almost can’t reach it. Trembling, he started stroking his dick. My finger’s probing deep inside him and I’ve found his swollen prostate. I think he really likes that because he’s actually spread his legs for me to finger him, just before he shoots.
I keep sliding my finger over that bobbling walnut, and he’s beating the shit out of his dick, then I feel his ass constrict and it’s squeezing and massaging my probing finger. His balls snap tight and then..
At one point, I started wondering why I was so twisted over this boy. I mean, I know you and I go for the boy trade but damn, I’ve had way more from boys before. He doesn’t kiss, he doesn’t reciprocate and fucking him is a big "maybe". When I reduce it to the lowest common denominator, it all comes down to sex. I don’t hear from him unless he’s hot. Then he comes over and raids my refrigerator, "borrows" money and stays a couple of days until he’s satiated. No really, that’s all it comes down to. I’m his suck toy and he comes over, every so often to get a good head job/rimming.
What’s wrong with me? How come I can’t let that be enough? How come I keep trying to make this into something it’ll never be?
I don't know, I’m reevaluating the whole thing...
What do you think? Write me back.
Chris